Katie’s Story: Embracing the Unplanned Path to Motherhood

After we got married, life moved right along the path we imagined— powerful careers were in full swing, we were chasing goals, building our life together. Everything seemed to be falling into place just the way it was “supposed to.” Naturally, the next step was starting a family. (After the dog of course)

I always assumed getting pregnant would happen quickly. I’m one of five kids, and my sister had three healthy pregnancies—it never crossed my mind that I’d face any difficulty. But month after month, nothing changed.

And then the social gatherings started to feel different. It’s funny how one well-meaning question—“So, are you planning on having children?”—can feel like a dagger when you’re in the thick of waiting and wondering. I knew the intent was pure, but every time I heard it, it stirred up the ache and impatience of wanting something so deeply. 

Months became years. Fertility doctors entered the picture. There were so many tests, appointments, and shots that some months I truly didn’t know what was next. Still, no answers. No diagnosis. Just a lot of “not yet” and “try again.”

It was around the holidays in late 2001, at a party hosted by Michelle Casey—funny enough, this was long before she and I would go on to launch The Salt Barre. That night, I met a woman who shared her story with me, and something in it cracked open a new possibility. We had so much in common, and in her kindness, she offered something I hadn’t felt in a while: hope.

That hope turned into action—and a new path forward.

Adoption.

We completed our initial adoption paperwork on February 11, 2002. Exactly one year later, on February 11, 2003, Chase was born. I still get emotional thinking about all the pieces that had to come together to make that happen. So many ironies, so many spiritually-timed moments—it’s hard to explain without tearing up, but this time the tears are joyful.

After Chase’s adoption in 2003, we started the process again, and in May 2010, Cash arrived. Two boys, two journeys, both uniquely challenging and equally miraculous.

Fast forward to today—Chase is 22, Cash is 14. They are our heart and soul. I remember about ten years ago, a woman asked me if I was going to attend the adoption mass at the cathedral. I must’ve looked totally confused. I thought, Why would I go to an adoption mass? It made me laugh because I forget, truly forget, that they were adopted. That’s how deeply woven they are into my heart and who we are as a family. It feels so right. So natural. So purposeful beyond anything I could have planned.

To those of you out there who are exploring adoption or feeling uncertain in your path to motherhood, I see you. I’m rooting for you.

Keep your social circle close and supportive. Keep your heart open. And keep believing that your story—whatever shape it takes—is unfolding exactly as it should.